So, it’s been eighteen months…

Eighteen LOOOOOOONG months. I picked up a copy of Josh’s orders this week. And I’m getting a “so your husband has been extended” present with Josh’s extra pay… new tires for the car! Yea! (Aren’t you glad I can do that all by myself, Josh?)

My mom hit something on the head recently. I’m not sure who I can be real with. I’m glad when people ask about Josh. It shows he’s an important part of our church and the community. And I do support the mission, really, I do. But, often, my feelings at any given time can be misconstrued as opinions.

Why must everything be so black and white? Why must my missing Josh more then anything indicate that I’m not in favor of the mission? Why must my being in favor of the mission mean that I can’t feel the pain of the deployment?

Sure, I signed up for this the day I married Josh. But I find that when military spouses are going through “worse,” in the “for better or worse,” we get no emotional support. We’re told to “buck up,” and “embrace the suck.” Heaven forbid, though, if I say the same thing to anyone else facing struggles in life.

Josh celebrated his birthday Sunday. He was supposed to celebrate it at home. He won’t be home for our anniversary. This will be our second consecutive anniversary apart. He won’t be home for most of the baseball season. I hope he’ll be home for my birthday. Both soldiers and their families are real. They have real emotions. They deal with separations the same way other people do; we just have more at stake. I’m not Wonder Woman. I’m just me.

And so, I will deal with the deployment the same way I have been. Get out of bed in the morning. Shuffle off to work. Go grocery shopping. Come home. E-mail Josh. Go to church on Sunday. And pray every night for the safe return of my husband and all the troops. And by the grace of God, I will carry on.


Update…
Thanks to Powerline for the space and platform.

Thanks for the wishes, DS, and also the Bible verse and song!

I love you, too, HG!

Mike, just stay involved. The Fraters have let it be known that there’s a guy who needs some help with reintegration. Also, there are a variety of organizations set up to benefit soldiers. Check out Soldier’s Angels , Operation Minnesota Nice , or your local Family Assistance Center for opportunities to help out.

Chad,
I just think it’s cool the way NARN, and the Fraters , in particular, are good to the community. You all are truly servants and it is a pleasure to read your blog.

King and Barbara ,
Thanks especially for your support! I admire Barbara a great deal. And Josh and I are looking forward to getting together some time this fall!

Thanks for the prayers, Sissy and Hockeymom.

God bless you all!