The share with friends issue...
I had a comment regarding whether or not my distaste for people calling the day after Josh got home was because I'm not big on sharing Josh. Something that differentiates Josh and me from the other young couples in our church is Josh and I maintain separate friends and social activities. Certainly, I've become friends with Josh's friends wives, and the reverse is true for Josh. But, Josh and I do maintain social activites apart from each other.
If Josh wanted to go out and see Scotty or Jon or Richard or any of his other friends, I'm completely cool with that and also encourage it. Neither of us likes being smothered. Most people in our lives understand that we need space. It took Josh a few days to be ready to be part of American Society when he was home on leave, and there were *a lot* of social obligations thrust upon us by people who thrive upon action and social interaction. And not everyone was as understanding about Josh needing his space.
Most people think I'm all ready for the huge stereotypical family open house to celebrate, much like the widow who lost her coin. I am, but we also have to consider Josh's needs and wishes as well. We intentionally made a *small* fuss over him. And his family and friends know he's home. And he'll contact them when he's ready. Right now, he's just adjusting, and things are progressing at about the same speed as they did back when he was last home.
My issue was not so much with people wanting to celebrate. Though I blog, I am a private person when it comes to my inner most thoughts. My issue was the invasion of privacy by people who I am not particularly close to who didn't understand it was just not a good time for me to talk. And I stand by my comment. If you know of a soldier who is coming home, give them a few days to regroup and give their families the privacy they need to reconnect.
If Josh wanted to go out and see Scotty or Jon or Richard or any of his other friends, I'm completely cool with that and also encourage it. Neither of us likes being smothered. Most people in our lives understand that we need space. It took Josh a few days to be ready to be part of American Society when he was home on leave, and there were *a lot* of social obligations thrust upon us by people who thrive upon action and social interaction. And not everyone was as understanding about Josh needing his space.
Most people think I'm all ready for the huge stereotypical family open house to celebrate, much like the widow who lost her coin. I am, but we also have to consider Josh's needs and wishes as well. We intentionally made a *small* fuss over him. And his family and friends know he's home. And he'll contact them when he's ready. Right now, he's just adjusting, and things are progressing at about the same speed as they did back when he was last home.
My issue was not so much with people wanting to celebrate. Though I blog, I am a private person when it comes to my inner most thoughts. My issue was the invasion of privacy by people who I am not particularly close to who didn't understand it was just not a good time for me to talk. And I stand by my comment. If you know of a soldier who is coming home, give them a few days to regroup and give their families the privacy they need to reconnect.
posted by Consecutive Odds @ 7:47 PM
1 Comments:
At 9:56 AM ,
HockeyMom said...
Liz,
To be honest, I wouldn't blame you a bit if the reason was that you didn't want to share Josh. Both you and Josh have made incredible sacrifices over the past couple of years. It seems to be a sign of our 24 hour news society, that people feel they need to have immediate access and information about other people. Take all the time you need. You don' t have to explain. Hopefully your comment will prevent good intentioned people from making the same mistake as people made with you.
Enjoy the 4th!
Christine
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