And it must be hard

The loss of Spc. Koch has hit me hard. I’ve never met the man; he doesn’t drill with Josh; and his family doesn’t FRG with me. But he’s the first of this deployment, and so I feel a sense of loss, just the same. It’s real for the first time, this deployment. It’s one thing to pretend to be brave and talk big. Its an entirely different matter to go to the armory and listen to see how the Army is going to tell you your spouse… I won’t even say it… I can’t…

Meetings like this are far from what I consider in the normal scope of life. Why must such things be considered? Why must such things be handled at an armory, of all places? Sure, this is a volunteer military, so Josh didn’t have to go. But signing up for this does not make it any less of a horrible thing to talk about. Signing up for it does not make it any less hard. Signing up for it does not take away my right to feel pain when facing the horrible reality of it all. Signing up for it just means that Josh is more noble, brave, and self sacrificing then most men I know.