Blonde moment

And the silver spoon.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Confessions of Faith…

Why are doctrine and theology important? Let’s think of this as building a house. Christ is the foundation, and doctrine and theology are the frame work. Let’s say you want to install wall paper. One little flaw in the framing could ruin your entire room. So, why would someone not want proper framework?

Well, let’s start in the beginning… what is easier, telling people to ask Jesus into their hearts or going through a long discipleship process with a new Christian? What is less painful, telling someone they are a dirty rotten sinner or telling someone “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life?” What is more fulfilling, there is nothing you can do to be saved or work real hard for your eternal reward? What is easier to preach to a person in the 10/40 window, repent of your sins and you may die for your conversion or experience your best purposeful life right now? What is easier food for thought, deeds or creeds? What is more important, trying to get someone to vote for a pro-life candidate or holding the mirror of God’s law to their face?

It feels really good to be an evangelical… that is, until you realize you are a sinner. I have a pet sin. And this is not the forum for confession. But, it was easier for me to go to my evangelical church on Sunday, lead Bible Studies where I was not in account to a pastor or someone with a theological background, it was easy for me to work hard for “the cause” then it was for me to confess my sins.

People refuse to have a strong theological framework because they think they know more then the church fathers. People refuse to have a strong framework because they like doing things on their own. People refuse to have a strong framework because God’s pruning hurts. It is the “American Way” to do things independently and by yourself. We pride ourselves on our freedoms. It’s easier, particularly for Americans, to transfer this freedom to theology.

I was a good little evangelical girl. No, really I was. I went to youth group. I lead Bible Studies and prayer groups. I was a camp counselor. I did everything church leaders said good little evangelical girls should do. I tried to be a good example to my younger sisters. I kept the status quo in college because, well, it was what I knew. But I never had assurance of salvation. I always questioned whether or not I was really sincere when I asked Jesus into my heart when I was eight-years-old. I questioned this because I have a pet sin.

Want to know my worst recurring nightmare? I call it “The Rapture Dream.” I would dream I was sleeping, and in my dream I would wake up and be alone in my house, dorm, where ever I happened to be asleep. Then I would really wake up and I would have to verify the Rapture didn’t happen and that I wasn’t really left behind. This would be funny if I didn’t just have this same recurring nightmare THIS WEEKEND. Yes, I have been out of an evangelical church for five and a half years and I *still* have “The Rapture Dream.”

It’s hard to leave evangelicalism. First, I had to admit I am still a sinner. Then I had to repent of my sins. Then I had to admit that I really don’t know more then the church fathers. Now, I’m getting used to being in account to a confession of faith. It is hard to be humbled like this. And I’m fortunate because God showed all of this to me as I was fresh from college. In all of this, looking for assurance of salvation and all, I wasn’t looking for some formula to make me a better person. I had to be exposed to grace.

My parents bought a house from a man who fancied himself a handyman. When they realized the sauna was over the entrance to the sewer, it was never used and eventually came down. Certainly, for a person who knows how to build things and do such labor, it is fulfilling to update your house or add to it. But if you fancy yourself a handyman and are not, then you end up with a product that is unusable. And sometimes, it feels better to fancy yourself a handyman then to call in the professionals.


  • At 11:50 AM , Blogger pianomomsicle said...

    That's the WORST dream ever! i hate that dream. i had it like two weeks ago, too. Ugh.

  • At 6:25 PM , Blogger Liz said...

    Want to know what was *really* bad about it? We were in the hotel up in Moorhead and I wake up, baseball game still on, Josh's shoes and sweater still where he left them, and he was no where to be found! Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to check to see if the chain was still locked, and the chain had been unlocked. So, I knew he would come back.


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