Blonde moment

And the silver spoon.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

So, why shouldn’t parents and spouses sound off about the war…

At my last FRG meeting, we did little videos for our guys (again, infantry and artillery, we don’t have deployed women in our unit). This was a rough week because we had just found out, in a very bad manner, that our men were extended. The person operating the video system said, “You need to hold it together. The guys will be watching this over and over and you don’t want him to see you sobbing. It is just for five minutes.”

My generation are the children of the women who did a lot of protesting for women’s rights. What the boomer women, as a generation, and not as individuals, forgot to learn is that sometimes, it is better not to say what you think. Sure, I have the *right* to do whatever I want within the context of the law. However, I have an *obligation* to protect my soldier to the extent possible.

When people talk about kidnapped children, you hear the discussion about what a captor tells a child, “Your parents don’t love you,” “Your parents died,” “See, your parents have replaced you.” If a soldier gets captured, their captors use similar psychological torture, and can use the media as evidence. “See, your wife doesn’t support you,” “I’ll bet she replaced you with a guy who won’t leave to fight in the war.”

Unlike other military spouses, I don’t insist people toe the party line. I don’t insist other military families agree with me. And I don’t insist on presenting a unified message as an FRG community. What I do insist upon is not saying anything that can be used against my soldier. I do not want to live with the thought of me being unintentionally destructive to my soldier and his morale. I want my soldier to only have happy memories of me.

When I married Josh, it was not so he could serve me (OK, yes, the Bible says he needs to do my dishes, but that’s beside the point). I married Josh so I could serve him. I stood before God, my pastor, my family, and my friends and promised that I would forsake all others, and that includes myself. Josh’s needs are more important then my own.

Say what you will about someone’s rights. Sure, Ms. Anderson has the right to say what she wants. I just don’t think she was really thinking it through.


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