Blonde moment

And the silver spoon.

Friday, November 04, 2005

A lousy job is a lousy job

I collect earnings and benefit data from randomly selected establishments as an occupation. And, often, I make a personal visit to the establishment. Twice a year, a senior staff member must observe my personal visit and critique my interview technique. I was observed the other day. And I did a horrible job.

I had a very bad cold, I was foggy, and I couldn’t find everyone’s number to cancel at the last minute. So, I was not in peak condition, nor was I in peak form. But the point is I did a bad job.

So, let’s talk a little about this situation. I was reviewed by a baby-boomer-black man, Gary. When we each do our write up and he is critical of my technique, is it because he’s a boomer and I’m an X-er? No. I did a bad job. Is it because he’s black and I’m white? No. I did a bad job. Is it because he’s a man and I’m a woman? No. I did a bad job.

And let’s take this a step further, Gary was aware of five other appointments that I had since August 1 where I did a good job. Is it the fault of some higher power that we happened to pick this one? No. The point is, we all have bad days, and when we do a bad job on a bad day, it is taken and learned from.

So, this said, I am being mature about the situation, trying to collect some needed information via e-mail and I hope to be able to redeem myself when my assignment is due.

Anyway, this is generally how professional relationships should work. However, women and other previously discriminated against groups have become vengeful against white men, especially those of the straight Christian variety. And this is where the entitlement attitude comes in.

Are we entitled to things or should we earn them? OK, we all know someone who was given a scholarship, opportunity, or job because of their gender or race. It sucks to be the person turned down, but we move on. But, what is more fun, and lets be honest with ourselves, the satisfaction of knowing you deserve something or having it handed to you on a silver platter? I prefer having earned something.

I agree with Mitch and Dr. Banaian that society, in general, discriminates against men. I also believe it is wrong. And this is the problem with our secular humanist society. “It’s all relative,” “what goes around comes around.” What these phrases are saying is that nothing really matters, including the dignity of men.

Dr. Martin Luther King, jr., said in his "I have a dream" speach that he wished his children be judged not by the color of their skin, but “by the content of their character.” What women are forgetting these days is the “content of character” part. Women, let’s take a look at ourselves as a whole. Who would you rather work with, someone of character, or someone just because he/she is part of a group that will promote workplace diversity? Hopefully both. But we are not being people of character in our dealings with men.

Our media is treating men as disposable; “Sex in the City” is a prime example. Our commercials treat men as incompetent. Our leaders are treating men as contemptible. We place our rights over our husbands. We place our rights over our brothers. We place our rights over our fathers. We have this queen-of-the-world-me-me-me attitude that needs to stop.

It all starts at the individual level. My influence starts with how I treat Josh, my dad, my cousins, my uncles. It continues by how I treat men in Josh’s life. It continues by how I treat my colleagues, my friends, Josh’s friends, the men I worship with, the men of my acquaintance. It continues by how I encourage my friends to treat men in their lives. It continues by how Josh and the others talk about me. It will continue by what we teach our theoretical children.

Look at ourselves. Women, we have become the brutes we accuse men of being. If, in a commercial, some woman was stranded with a blown tire, and she called a man to help her, would we stand for that? Women are not shown bumbling about a hardware store. Women are not shown struggling with a lawn mower. Why must we show men struggling with things?

Josh can cook. Josh can shop for groceries. Josh can do dishes. Josh can clean. Josh can do laundry. But most importantly, Josh is worthy of my respect. Not because he can perform housework, but because he is a wonderful person who is sacrificing his time to serve his country. And he treats me well. And he treats his mom well. Small children like Josh more then they like me. And… well, you get the point.

Women, we will not be happy by being manipulative, overbearing, demanding bitches. And, in fact, none of these qualities will make you successful. What will ensure our happiness is if we let others have an opinion, if we let others take the spotlight, and if we let others have what we want. After all, there is nothing like a friend.

To draw everything together: admit your failings. Don’t blame others if you don’t get an opportunity. Treat people with respect. It’s not about me, it’s about others.

Thanks to Dr. Banaian for the links.


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