And this is it...

Well, it's about that time... The time where Josh will be activated... But by the grace of God and help from my mom, I'll hold it together until he leaves.

I'm finishing up Josh's civies so he can have some non-issue to wear out and about when he has a chance. We've finished up on our social obligations. And now we're just spending time in eachothers company. I must extend my regrets to those who we couldn't get together in the last week; and in some cases the last month. But, this past week was ours with two exeptions, a family where Josh and I have mentored a couple of the teens, and my parents.

And that brings me to my mom. A fine woman. I hope to be like her someday, but I think I need to grow up first. There's this country music song, and for the life of me I can't remember the title or the artist, but the chorus fits my mom so well. The song is about partings and the chorus goes something like this: "How can I help you say good-bye? It's OK to hurt and it's OK to cry..." My mom is helping me a great deal.

And about these links and the links on my husband's blog... I WILL clean them up this week. I think you all understand how busy it is. We were using the AOL browser until we got cable internet... and AOL wouldn't show the "edit html" like Microsoft will. Anyway... Didn't have a chance during lunch, and haven't had a chance since we got cable. But, it will get done.

Becky and Hurricane Rita

My sister and her husband and their pets are in Houston right now. They aren't under an evacuation order, but still, pray for their safety as they can loose power. Also their area is easily flooded during a heavy rain...

Update: Becky and Sam are leaving for the rest of the week and through the weekend. They're bringing their dog and rats with them.

I'll keep you posted.

Oh, and thanks for the continued patience. I'll likely get a chance to update my links in early October...

An OK day, but not great

Josh is really leaving. OK, yeah, we've done all this planning and stuff, but it hasn't been REAL real. But he's leaving. Leaving. Sad.

Josh took my cell up with him to drill this weekend. It's been a handy way for us to keep in touch when he's away for the weekend, or I'm away for that matter. He just called to tell me they were coming home tonight instead of tomorrow. Then he has to drill again tomorrow.

He did his will, etc. So that's all done.

What a hard weekend. I'm torn.

Friday night was pretty good. I watched "Law & Order" and crocheted. And on the way home from work, I went out and got a piece of Cheese Cake from the Cheese Cake Factory. So, I had a few bites of that. Amazing on how just a few bites hits the spot. So I put it away for later needs. This morning, I went grocery shopping. I found a new friend, a TY Beanie Lamb named "Tender." He's so cute. Then Mom and I went shopping for paper ware for Josh's party. Red, white, and blue, of course. Then I went home, made calls, and crocheted some more.

Josh called just now to tell me he's coming home from drill. I mentioned that though. I don't know why I'm so sad right now. Probably because he's leaving soon and it's really for real.

I'll probably do some blog maintenance when I feel a little more in spirits.

Next weekend will be hard. His folks are coming in to say good-bye. And it's the party.

Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only one who is experiencing loss in Josh's deployment. His family will miss him, my family will miss him, and all of his friends will miss him. Do I have a right to be sad? Should I try to encourage the rest of his family? Should I keep a stiff upper lip and be the "good soldier?" Or should I react on my gut instinct and withdraw?

When we go through personal crisis, we tend to have tunnel vision. And part of some of these emotions is part of my own little tunnel vision. I guess I need to take the blinders off and look at the world around me next weekend instead of focusing on the Josh and Liz part of "us," and focus in the extended everyone part of us.

Thanks for the understanding on the poor linking maintenance. I've been writing on an AOL browerser which doesn't do the "edit html" thing well. It will get cleaned up... soon... I mean well, at any rate.

Gov. Pawlenty

Tonight was Josh's unit send off. It was a nice dinner at the American Legion Post nearest to where they drill. Gov. and Mrs. Pawlenty were both present.

As a child of a Vietnam Vet, my expectations of the military are pretty low. It was beyond my expectation that the Governor and his wife would take notice of a small unit. Furthermore, when I heard he was going to be there, I thought that he would probably do his speach, shake hands with some brass and leave. We left before he did. He took the time to pose for pictures and talk to any soldier or family member who approached him.

Also, Mrs. Pawlenty has an organization (link to come) that lists organizations willing to provide help to the families who are staying behind. Her organization provided gift bags filled with spa and dish cleaning product samples from Thyme plus a scented candle.

Josh and I are impressed by some of these seemingly trivial things. People in our lives and also complete strangers have shown Josh and me great kindness. And it's the kindness that means a lot.

On a side note... we said "the pledge" with the words "under God" and no one complained. And the chaplain said a prayer to God. And people were quiet and respectful and no one complained. Perhaps an upcoming deployment puts the fear of God into people. But, perhaps it is because the people in the room were genuinely interested in acknowledging God in this situation. It was nice, though. One can acknowledge God without being offensive.

All in all a good evening.

Note, I'm going to go through and edit this sometime during the weekend. Just publishing to have my thoughts written down.

Random update

Sorry for lack of posting. Josh is leaving relatively soon, so I'm spending as much time with him, which also means that I'm working through lunch so I'm not posting then as I have been known to do.

Military spouse involved in this deployment? Signed up in DEERS yet? Better do so.

Josh is leaving fairly soon. I'm going through a lot of emotions related to that which I will post on after he leaves.

A pretty neat experience tomorrow. The unit is having their big dinner before leaving. There will be big wigs there. If we get press, I'll put up a link.

This weekend makes a lot of things real. Josh does his will. Josh gives me power of attorney.

Visit Vox Day. He has some interesting opinions on women that I've been starting to agree with since this deployment thing came to light. Not that I completely agree with him, but more like I see where he's coming from. I'll clean this link up later: http://voxday.blogspot.com

OK, so on to some thank yous: Thanks to Dr. Banaian again for giving Josh and me some space. I'm going to break into Josh's blog this weekend and set him up with links. Then I'm going to show him how to do it. Dr. Banaian's blog is: http://www.scsuscholars.com, link to be fixed later this weekend.

And that's it for now... I'm going to do some more blogging this weekend while Josh is drilling. Don't expect many posts until early October. Understandably, I'm busy with preparations.

Oh, one more thing. If you're married, keep in mind that three out of four years, you only share 363 unbirthdays with your spouse. Celebrate each one. And celebrate the ones that you don't share too. And that one of four years, celebrate the 364 unbirthdays that you share, and also the two that you don't. Point is, celebrate your spouse.

Thanks for the love, support and prayers.

About crisis

You know, I've always fancied myself someone who believed that men and women were equal in a lot of areas. People should get equal pay for equal work. I have a right to use birth control as a person with a blood disease preventing children. I have the right to vote. But, most importantly that I have the ability to keep it cool in a crisis.

I'm not so certain that I have the ability to keep it cool in a crisis anymore. Yeah, I haven't "dropped my basket," so to speak, and I can still do the basic function of living. But I don't think I could handle this deployment thing without Josh. And I don't think I'll be able to handle it without my friends, but most importantly, without my dad.

It isn't that I can't manage my household affairs, show up at work, and go through the daily functions of life. Rather, it's that I need someone to be strong for me. Perhaps it is time for a stronger faith in God. Perhaps I'm not as strong as men.