Blonde moment

And the silver spoon.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas, Coptic Style

Go visit Scotty and check out the Coptic Christmas Greeting ! Beautiful art and music!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

An example of ministry

One of the ultimate questions in the Christian walk is how one does ministry. I am "allergic" to most organized forms of performing ministry. Adverse is perhaps another word. But that is me and my preferences for how Christian compassion is best shown. I have no problems or disputes with those who prefer organized ministry, but I find it easier to perform ministry as the oportunity presents itself.

I learned this form of ministry from my parents. Want to know how you sin, ask your teenage kid. Want to know what you do right, ask your grown up kid. My parents have always fully loved their vocation as friends and neighbors. They hear about a particular need, and if it is a need they can meet, they just go ahead and do it. They don't go and find ministries where they can best use their giftings. They just look out their windows and ask concerned questions of those around them.

Some people are far sighted... they see the global need and have the insight on how to take care of large groups of people. But some are near sighted. They see the need of the widower or the single mom or the elderly neighbor. I think of the Sesame Street Song... "Who are the people in your neighborhood?" One of the signs of a good Christian is that they can answer this question because they care.

They follow the example of the inn keeper. Who knows but the inn keeper gave Mary and Joseph all that he had? He met the local need as it presented itself instead of thinking about "Oh, how can I plug into a ministry that helps impoverished travelers?" A cool way to do ministry.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Special to the family...

OK, so I'm a Swedish Lutheran in the denomination of German Lutherans in America. But, here is a special poem by Charlie Boone and Roger Erickson.

The Lutefisk Lament...

'Twas the night before Christmas with things all a bustle
As Mama got set for the Christmas Eve tussle.
Aunts, uncles and cousins would soon be arriving
With stomachs all ready for Christmas Eve dining.

While I sat alone with a feeling of dread,
As visions of lutefisk danced in my head.
The thought of the smell made my eyeballs start burning.
The thought of the taste set my stomach to churning.

For I'm one of those who good Swedes rebuff:
A Scandahoovian boy who can't stand the stuff.
Each year, however, I played at the game
to spare mama and papa the undying shame.

I must bear up bravely, I can't take the risk
of relatives knowing I hate lutefisk.
I know they would spurn me, my presents withhold,
if the unthinkable, unspeakable truth they were told.

Then out in the yard I heard such a clatter,
I jumped up to see what was the matter.
There in the snow, all in a jumble,
three of my uncles had taken a tumble.

My aunts, as usual, gave them "what for",
and soon they were up and through the door.
Then with talk, and more cheer, an hour was passed
as Mama finished the Christmas repast.

From out in the kitchen an odor came stealing,
that fairly set my senses to reeling.
The smell of lutefisk creeped down the hall
and wilted a plant in a pot on the wall.

The others reacted as though they were smitten,
while the aroma laid low my small helpless kitten.
Uncles Oscar and Lars said, "Oh, that smells yummy,"
and Kermit's eyes glittered while he patted his tummy.

The scent skipped off the ceiling and bounced off the door,
and the bird in the cuckoo clock fell on the floor.
Mama announced dinner by ringing a bell.
They pushed to the table with a yump and a yell.

I lifted my eyes to heaven and sighed,
and a rose on the wallpaper withered and died.
With wooden legs I found my chair
and sat in silence with an unseeing stare.

Most of the food was already in place;
there remained only to fill the lutefisks space.
Then Mama came proudly with a bowl on a trivet.
You would have thought the crown jewels were in it.

She placed it carefully down and took her seat,
and Papa said Grace before we could eat.
It seemed to me, with my whirling head,
the shortest prayer he ever had said.

Then Mama lifted the cover on the steaming dish,
and I was face to face with the quivering fish.
"Me first," I heard Uncle Kermit call,
while I watched the paint peel off the wall.

The plates were passed for Papa to fill.
I waited in agony between fever and chill.
He would dip in the spoon and hold it up high.
As it oozed on the plates, I thought I would die.

Then came my plate, and to my feverish brain
there seemed enough lutefisk to derail a train.
It looked like a mountain of congealing glue:
oddly transparent, yet discolored, the hue.

With butter and cream sauce I tried to conceal it;
I salted and peppered, but the smell still revealed it.
I drummed up my courage, I tried to be bold.
Mama reminds me, "Eat, before it gets cold."

I decided to face it, "Uff da," I sighed.
"Uff da, indeed," my stomach replied.
Then I summoned that resolve for which every breed is known.
My hand took the fork as with a mind of its own.

And with reckless abandon that lutefisk I ate,
within twenty seconds I'd cleaned my plate.
Uncle Kermit flashed me an ear-to-ear grin,
as butter and cream sauce dripped from his chin.

Then to my great shock, he whispered in my ear:
"I'm sure glad this is over for another year!"
It was then I learned a great and wonderful truth,
that Swedes and Norwegians, from old men to youth,

must each pay their dues to have the great joy
of being known as a good Scandahoovian boy.
And so to you all, as you face the great test:
Happy Christmas to you, and to you all the best.

Fishing with Barb…

I’ll bite…

1. I am a noted silverware thief. Every year, at Christmas, I would undergo operation steal Granny’s silver, wrap it up and put it under the Christmas tree signed from a male in the family. (There’s a long background story with this.)
2. My family eats homemade pizza on Christmas Eve. Who wouldn’t when your other option is lutefisk?
3. When I was a teacher’s assistant with the 2 year olds at this particular church I grew up at, one girl insisted on singing “Away in the Manger” with actions, every week, even in July.
4. I am a purist. I sing “Good Christian Men Rejoice” “God rest ye Merry Gentlemen” “Born that men no more may die… born to raise each son of earth” and other “sexist” lyrics.
5. My favorite Christmas song is “Joy to the World,” and I sulk for months if we didn’t sing the “He rules the world” verse.
6. Josh gave me the world on a tin-foil platter for Christmas one year.
7. I prefer listening to men read scripture, particularly the Christmas story and the Easter story. Nothing personal, but my Dad has a really good reading voice.

So, now I’m fishing, anyone want to bite?

Special Christmas Gifts

Please celebrate the Joneses as they are expecting a Baby in March . Pray that Baby Jee is in good health and that all goes smoothly.

Also remember to pray for Laura's family as they are in the process of adopting Ben , a child in their care.

And pray for all who follow the example of Joseph, who take in children who are not their own by blood, but by choice. A very good and honorable vocation.

A PS to my folks... last Sunday, when Pastor asked who the most influential man on earth was, I thought of Joseph before Jesus. Not because Jesus wasn't the most influential, but I was thinking of him as God, and not man, at the time... but Joseph raised the Son of God, a great influence.

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas! I won't be posting a great deal as we do have some things we need to get done.

May God continue to richly bless us all!

This week in the life of baby…

We find out that my parents were not joking when they teased us about taking home the wrong kids from the hospital. I got my blood work back and I am Rh negative. I called Mom and she said, “How did that happen?”

The lesson to be learned… don’t assume “everyone knows I have” this one inherited condition. Even the most concerned person in your family may not. So, compile a nice medical history of your family as a Christmas present, not a gossipy one like “so and so had this and this” but rather:
Juvenile diabetes runs in the family
Rh negative blood runs in the family
Heart attacks run in the family

Having Rh negative blood, it turns out, is really not that big of a deal… unless one has a husband with Rh positive blood and one has received blood products to treat a blood disease… But problems can easily be taken care of with a series of shots.

Anyway, want to know why we’re supposed to share our prayer requests with others? OK, so this isn’t really a Biblical answer, but you tell people, “Hey, I have this problem could you pray for me?” And they e-mail you back and say, “Yeah, and did you know that I had it too. Everything worked out for me. Be encouraged!” And that is good.

So, Baby is in “week 13,” and according to Baby has its first set of teeth just waiting to go through teething and biting! Baby and the placenta both weigh in at an ounce. So almost all the parts should be in place, it is just a matter of growing and Baby giving everything a test run. I’m starting to feel pretty good, but am adverse to certain smells and foods. Baby still likes it when I sleep 10 hours a night, and is fairly insistent that I drink 12 glasses of water a day and at least two a night.

I am starting to... um... expand... my wardrobe if you will... and this is going to be a busy weekend, so Josh, Baby, and I bid you Merry Christmas!

Not to be seen as too critical…

OK, fine, I actually have no problem criticizing pop Christianity. Full disclosure… I have similar feelings towards Rick Warren for his actions in Syria that Viet Nam vets have for Jane Fonda. Except Rick Warren didn’t aim guns at US Soldiers, but was just a pawn in terrorist propaganda. (Jane Fonda, of course, more extreme and vile and treacherous, but Rick Warren is still a flavor of traitor.) Anyway, I am personally inclined to not like him.

But I was visiting Extreme Theology and found this out… Why would Rick Warren want to tell non-Christians how to GROW their ministry? And now comes a little lesson in logic… I’ve never taken an actual logic class, but you get a fair share of it in economics and statistics and math. There is this concept called “being mutually exclusive” or, if a then not b. You can be a, or you can be b, but you cannot be both a and b. In other words, a and b are mutually exclusive.

This is the funny thing about Christianity… it is mutually exclusive from other religions. No, I am not taking some non-Lutheran point of view on predestination or whether or not Christ died for all sins. I’m stating you are either a Christian or you are not. And if you are a Christian, one of the foundational beliefs is that Jesus is “THE way, THE truth and THE life and NO ONE comes to the Father but by HIM.” So, regardless of what one thinks of the Anabaptist theology that Rick Warren claims decent from, all Christians should agree on that foundational truth.

Now, if one is trying to teach non-Christians how to proselytize, one should examine the whether or not they really do believe Jesus is the way, truth, and life. And if one believes Jesus is merely a way, a truth, and a life, then perhaps one should convert to Buddhism or Hinduism.

‘Tis the season to be getting?

Actually, House M.Div has a great point. There is nothing that we can give Christ . And this season is all about receiving Him.

Merry Christmas!

Special to Cousin Rachel…

Perhaps you can answer this question.

HT Eloise from Spitbull .

More Bang for the Buck

Pianomomsicle and I were hanging out last spring and we went to a liquor store. And she did this cute little cost/benefit analysis over whether she should use her money to buy a bottle of wine or a shirt on sale at Kohl’s. I was so proud of her! I then went on to explain that people with degrees in economics tend to study these decisions.

And so, Painomonsicle has all sorts of great economic resources on her blog. For example, she has a resource on how to acquire cheap and entertaining toys that are not made in China! My guess is David is not going to get lead poisoning. And, in the past, she has shared ways to cut costs. She is definitely gorgeous and smart.

This morning, on KARE 11 news, a new resource for those of us inclined to think economically, was featured. Cheap but not Easy is on a one year quest to not spend more then $20 on anything. My favorite idea: a house warming gift.

And that’s what we all want anyway, more bang for our buck. The question is: How much time do we want to invest on achieving the most bang for buck and how to we price our time…

Honoring parents

I wanted to post the comments my Dad made to my previous post on Declaring the Word of the Lord. These comments speak for themselves:

My comments at lunch concerned the Lutheran theology contained within the song "Ancient Words" which was part of our congregational singing that Sunday morning. Specifically the following phrase:"... Ancient words, ever true, changing me and changing you ...""Ever true" concerns the veracity (truthfulness) of God's word. This is affirmed by Lutheran and Reformed theology.

"Changing me and changing you" concerns the efficacy (effectiveness) of God's word. This is bedrock in Lutheran theology but sadly missing, or insufficiently emphasized, in Reformed theology.

Hence the different concepts of faith between Lutheran and Reformed theology.

For Lutherans, faith is the gift God gives to those who are being saved which enables them to receive the grace that is delivered by means of the word and sacraments. Faith latches onto the efficacy of God's word. The result is that Lutheran theology is grace-based.

For the Reformed, faith is a work of the intellect which latches onto the veracity of God's word. The result is that Reformed theology is decision-based.While Lutherans and the Reformed may agree that we are "... saved by grace, through faith ...", the difference in concepts concerning faith impact not only other beliefs but practices as well.

Take baptism, for example.Lutherans practice infant baptism. Many Reformed reject infant baptism, practicing only "believer baptism".

Such Reformed would say that infant baptism cannot save because faith, by their definition, is missing on the part of the infant.

Lutherans would say that infant baptism can save because the infant can exercise faith, by their definition. The infant need only drink in the grace that is delivered, just as it drinks in the milk that the mother delivers. It does not require a work of the intellect on the part of the infant (either for baptism, or for nursing). God gives the infant the gift of faith which receives grace, just as God gives the infant the instinct to suck which receives milk.

Does this mean that Lutheran theology is anti-intellectual or irrational? Indeed not! Lutherans place great emphasis on the veracity of God's word. But the intellect's latching onto the veracity of God's word is more directly related to wisdom and discernment (which are highly valued) than to faith.

For the reasons explained above, your mother and I eagerly await the baptism of our first grandchild.-Dad

A wonderful illustration, Dad!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Declaring the word of the Lord…

So, I went out with my family yesterday to celebrate Mom’s birthday. And then Mom and I went to hear Handel’s “Messiah” at Orchestra Hall. I was reminded of both a conversation at lunch and also one from college.

I was hanging out with my Pentecostal friends and we were opining about how the word of God would be spread after the mid-trib rapture. And I said, “But of course, every Christmas every heathen plays Handel’s ‘Messiah.’” They asked, “Well, who will properly interpret it for them?” I replied, “Isn’t it enough just to recite God’s word?”

And Dad was saying at lunch, using theological Latin words… and since I remember enough French to know what he was talking about but I don’t remember the particular words… Lutherans don’t just believe God’s word is true, but that it is life changing.

So, I enjoyed listening to the Gospel message sung to beautiful Baroque music. (And a truncated Part III… sigh… the only disappointment.)

A particular aria stood out to me for the first time. From Part I (Malachi 3), “But who may abide the day of His coming, and who shall stand when He appeareth? For He is like a refiner’s fire.” No one, can abide the day of His coming. We are all sinners, even those of us who repent of our sins. Not even Moses could bear the full frontal of God’s presence. As Isaiah says, “I am a man of unclean lips.” And that humbles me.

And I was sharing with Mom how I never had a “life verse.” It’s very important to have one, you know. Or so I grew up believing. The problem of having a life verse is when people take verses like II Kings 21:13, or God’s directive that men do the dishes, as a life verse. (Though I argue that since God does provide instruction on how dishes are to be done, it must certainly be that men do the dishes.)

I was reminded of great passages like “Surely, He hath borne our greifs and carried our sorrows; He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him,” “And with His stripes we are healed,” and “All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” If one should have a “life verse” isn’t it more helpful to have one of such great hope and great gospel truth… that I do not bear my transgressions or my iniquities, or my sins… that Jesus paid for my peace?

And it is after all of this that we can all rise and sing, “Hallelujah! For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth. The kingdom of this world has become the kingdom of our Lord and ove His Christ; and He shall reign forever and ever. King of Kings and Lord of Lords.” This is most certainly true.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

How to make a Muslim woman smile...

I've noticed that if you tell a Muslim woman that she is wearing a pretty head-scarf that she smiles back at you. I recommend that women do this and not men.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Something that bothers me…

Double standards.

I am critical of the popular Christian culture and I make no apologies for it. The label “Christian (fill in the blank with book, music, art)” means nothing to me. People sin and repent, and should be forgiven for it. However, if Christians do not hold ourselves up to a higher standard then the culture around us, we have no one to blame but ourselves when our rights to practice Christianity are taken away.

We are condemned for reading Harry Potter and romance novels and listening to secular music, but does the Christian community provide a safe alternative? Reading fiction provides intellectual benefit, but do Christian romance novels really prevent women from engaging in emotional lust? Does Christian music impart solid doctrine or “Jesus is my boyfriend?” Do Christian artists behave in a non-sexualized manner?

If I were to sit and write a blog post condemning Brittany Spears, I’d get kudos from the Christian community, but when I point out that the Christian culture is just as sexualized as Brittany Spears, I’m the she-devil. My sisters and I went to several Christian concerts growing up. But I do not remember any of them being sexual. I’m afraid that I won’t have such options for my kids.

And when I’m critical of Christian leaders and how I disagree with whatever point in theology (because I can find most of what Rick Warren and Joel Osteen have to say in the self-help and marketing section of a secular bookstore) I am likewise told to lay off because they do good works or whatever.

We need to engage ourselves with both the secular culture and the Christian culture to make sure we are indeed behaving in a manner according to Scripture.

Full disclosure… I used to work at Victoria’s Secrets. I think more Christian women should wear such product… in front of their husbands only. I am also a fan of certain Christian groups, namely Jacobs Trouble, PFR, DC Talk and Kutlass. And for my husband’s enjoyment I have purchased works by other Christian artists. I also read Lori Wick and Harry Potter and have purchased some Theodore Beale books for others, though have not read them.

Why I don't partake in "Christian" Music

I have nothing against women who have bodies pretty enough to go prancing around in sexy lingerie... but fellow Christian, do not condemn secular networks for broadcasting the Victoria's Secrets fashion show if this is the type of artist you think your children should listen to and frequent.

Furthermore, nothing says, "Christians know the REAL meaning of Christmas" like a Christian artist and sexy Santas. Please. You wonder why the culture doesn't take us seriously? A video performance of Jaci Valesquez, of which her team has requested removal of from this site, singing Christmas music while dancers clad in sexy Santa lingerie while moving in a provocative manner, is an example on why the culture doesn't take us seriously.

If you are going to listen to sexualized music, may I recommend Areosmith, Christina, Brittney, and others? Be honest. "Oh, but the words, Liz." Bull. You cannot sing the praises of God and worship Venus at the Corinthian Temple.

Hat tip to A Little Leaven.

Update: I have received the following comment on this post: Dear Blonde Moment,Please be advised that a legal team has been secured to track anyone posting this video of the Jaci perfromance. You will be responsible for paying every time the video is viewed on your site or an extention of your site in addition to any legal fees incurred. The legal team is also preparing a slander case. We don't wish to include you, however, if you leave the video up, we will have no other choice. This video is over four years old and is not a current representation of Jaci. You are in violation of US copyright law by putting the video up on the internet without proper clearance. The Fair Use Copyright act does not protect against slander or waive sync license fees. This message serves as a formal request to remove the video from your site.Thanks for your cooperation.

I have removed the link to the video as I have done things in the past that I regret and repent of, and wouldn't want it put over the internet. I was merely illustrating a point. My point: Christian music is not the "safe" alternative to sex filled secular music; and if Christians complain loudly about the VS fashion show, we should also loudly complain when Christian artists sexualize themselves and our Holy-day Christmas. As this is no longer, as her representative commented, how Ms. Valesquez represents herself, the video as an example is mute, and has been removed. I would, however, like to add that the point of holding Christian music up to a higher standard then the culture is not mute.

Video is not up, slander case averted. Ms. Valesquez and her music, removed from my home, but not for purposes of the video.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

This week in the life of baby…

We start week “twelve” and had our doctor’s appointment today.

OK, so the big question on everyone’s mind is when I get an ultrasound. Not sure, but likely 18 to 20 weeks. Every pregnancy is different, and has different needs. For example, recently, I’ve had several friends who have irregular cycles go through morning sickness and not necessarily know they’re “late” and need the ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. (It happens.) So, this time, they took out the heart radio thing and tried to find Baby’s heart beat…

Which leads me to explain why the word “twelve” is in quotation marks. Yeah, they couldn’t find Baby’s heart beat. Now, at my stage, 75% of the time, they’re supposed to be able to find the heart beat. Let’s be real, there may be a problem. But, let’s look at some other reasons behind why we couldn’t hear the heart…

Josh and I… well, OK, Josh has been in Iraq most of this time, but we’ve been doing natural family planning (NFP) through Couple to Couple League (CCLI) for eighteen months now. Without explaining the symptom part of my observations, I take my temperature each day at the same time, and when I see a rather sudden shift in my temperature, that means I’m at my fertile peak (provided other symptoms are present… but I have a mixed gender audience so we won’t go there). As an aside, current NFP is based off of research conducted by the University of Minnesota Med School… this isn’t voodoo science.

So, if you look at the first day of the temperature shift and count 14 days, that should be about when a woman’s period will start. This, by the way is super cool if you have irregular cycles. I have slightly irregular cycles. And that means that I may not have conceived as early as what the “week one is the first day of your last menstrual cycle” rule states (day 14 of my cycle). I have had a fertile peak as late as 23 days and as early as 11 days.

Not being able to hear Baby’s heart is cause for concern because we should have heard it. But, it is not unheard of and there are legitimate reasons why we may not have been able to.

What’s next? I go back in three weeks for the same test. If no luck then, I’ll have an early ultrasound.

So, what else happened? They took A LOT of blood. I’m going to be tested for almost everything bad under the planet. And we’ll finally find out which parent I get my blood type from (with my parents blood types, I only have two options). They’ll count my platelets and take my glucose too.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Thoughts on “Good works”…

A hang over from my Evangelical past is that of the doctrine of sanctification. First of all, it is hard for someone to realize that you don’t have to do anything to earn your salvation. But then, it’s hard for someone to realize that after you’re converted there isn’t a list of things you have to do to keep God happy.

It’s that second thing I’ve been struggling with. Am I sinning less? Am I growing in my faith? Am I doing enough to witness to people? What more should I be doing? Something that is hard to explain to cradle Lutherans is the pressure one has to perform to the expectation of the leaders of your church. I have to remind myself that every time there is a “use your gifts at church” flyer that it is not directed specifically to me.

I receive a great deal of comfort reading some passages in the Book of Concord, Readers Edition . In the Augsburg Confession:
Article II:3 “Our Churches condemn the Pelagians and others who deny that original depravity is sin, thus obscuring the glory of Christ’s merit and benefits. Pelagians argue that a person can be justified before God by his own strength and reason.”
Article IV:1 “Our churches teach that people cannot be justified before God by their own strength, merits, or works.”
Article XII:7-8,10: “Our churches condemn the Anabaptists, who deny that those who have once been justified can lose the Holy Spirit. Then also condemn those who argue that some may reach such a state of perfection in this life that they cannot sin…. Our churches also reject those who do not theach that forgiveness of sins comes through faith, but command us to merit grace through satisfactions of our own. They also reject those who teach that it is necessary to perform works of satisfaction commanded by Church law, in order to remit eternal punishment or the punishment of purgatory.”
Article XX:19: “Until now consciences were plagued with the doctrine of works. They did not hear consolation from the Gospel.”

You see modern American Evangelism imposes good works on its followers, and if you do not perform according to the standards of your denomination, you had to ask Jesus into your heart again because you were not really saved. And for particularly sensitive souls, there’s the rapture dream. I still occasionally wake up dreaming that the rapture happened and I was left behind, and if I find Josh not there, I freak out. This was particularly inconvenient during Josh’s deployment, which is why I slept with the TV on. So, just in case, I could flip to Foxnews just for the assurance that all was OK.

Lutherans do not condemn good works, rather, it is best explained in The Defense to the Augsburg Confessions, Article XIIB:77 “We have already frequently testified that repentance should produce good fruit. These good fruit are what the commandments teach: prayer, thanksgiving, the confession of the Gospel, teaching the Gospel, obeying parents and rulers, and being faithful to one’s calling. We should not kill, not hold on to hatred, but we should be forgiving and give to the needy, so far as we can according to our means. We should not commit sexual sins or adultery, but should hold in check, bridle, and chastise the flesh, not for a repayment of eternal punishment, but so as not to obey the devil or offend the Holy Spirit.”

And what is my calling? According to Holy Scripture, as listed in the Table of Duties in the Small Catechism, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord… For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." (Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Peter 3:5-6)

It is comforting to know that there are not burdensome expectations on me to perform. As Jesus says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

As we near…

The 500th Anniversary of Martin Luther nailing his 95 Thesis to the door of the Wittenberg Church, let us be reminded that some things never change .

I agree with Martin Luther… if the Pope could really spring souls from purgatory, he’d do so out of Christian charity and compassion.

Rev. Paul McCain also talks about these indulgences here .

Word to the wise…

It is not Santa’s fault…

That certain of America’s Hip Hop Culture cannot properly pronounce their “r’s.”

And I’m thinking that if any son of mine started calling women “hos” or any variation thereof, I’d spank the boy and wash his mouth out with soap.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


King from SCSU Scholars talks about toy trade with China . And it makes me think (as an expectant mother) what are appropriate toys to purchase for my kid?

I mean, you buy toys at garage sales and only God knows what kind of germs are on the toys…
Or you raid the stash of toys your parent saved for you… one wonders if that cradle and cabinet set has lead paint… probably, but Becky, HG, and I were all above average in math, so it doesn’t matter anyway…
And then there are small pieces of toy that can cause Baby to choke… this says the girl who tried to eat a penny once… I’ve also tried sand and dirt. This is before I learned to spit after licking an agate.

But then I think, no, I have bigger problems to worry about then toy poisoning. I am married to a man who has dozens of battle scars on his body… none of which he got from military service… even when he was in the 82nd Airborne and jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. Josh can tell a person, from first hand experience why it is not a good idea to take ones Big Wheel tricycle up a hill (in Rapid City, SD) and ram it into a chain link fence (and he has the scar to prove it). Then there was something or other about running into a tail pipe of a car or something… then there was this jumping off of a cliff business… Even the most “with it” parent cannot know the thoughts and plans of adventurous little boys.

Then there are the toys ones family buys for your child for “educational purposes…” an aunt and uncle got revenge for the Indoor Marching Band toy for YEARS. I have an uncle that buys duck calls for kids and tells them “Do you ever worry that you wake your parents up when you flush the toilet at night? Well, all you need to do is blow this duck call and then your parents won’t hear the toilet flush…”

Sure, I don’t want my kid to be killed from a toy, but what fun is life without dodge ball, or germs, or tricycles, or Uncles who buy neat toys, or adventure or, dare I say, a little lead paint? Certainly I worry less about toys then I do about my kids being taught about condoms and heresies about Jesus. I do, however, worry that if Baby is a boy, Baby will have the same adventurous streak that Josh did… in which case, Josh probably does know the thoughts and plans of little boys, and can nip any truly dangerous idea in the butt.

And more resources on baptism…

Wow! When it rains, it pours! OK, so Issues, Etc. is doing a series on “Evangelical Proof Texts,” or Bible verses Evangelicals and Revivalists use to defend their theology.

On December 3rd, they talked about baptism and Mark 16:16, whether or not belief should come before baptism.

What would Al Franken do?

Next year, we’re going to light a menorah. Why? Judas Maccabeus would. And if I’m going to teach my children anti-environmental habits, they should at least celebrate multiculturalism. (What is a Minnesotan to do, save the environment or be multicultural and celebrate diversity?)

I hope Al Franken isn't burning one less candle this year. I'm sure Babs or Al Gore will spot him a carbon credit.

This week in the life of Baby…

Well, we start week 11 tomorrow. My favorite page doesn’t give a lot of information for this week as it has other weeks. However, Baby’s head is about half of its body size and the iris will begin to develop. Plus we can see the finger nails. Baby will weigh in at 7 paper clips.

The Baby Center has a neat little diagram. And they say that Baby will be about fig sized. (So bring us some figgy pudding, so bring us some figgy pudding, so bring us some figgy pudding. Bring it right here.)

Anyway, I’m feeling better in general. I am beginning to be hyper-sensory mostly with touch and smell. And I have this leg cramp. It probably isn’t pregnancy related. I’ve been struggling with cramps in this particular muscle since State Fair… I’ve tried exercising it, stretching it, resting it… no avail… and pregnancy is making it worse at night time. Sigh.

I got a back and belly pillow, which helped the cramp for three weeks, but not so much now. Monday night, I was up for three hours trying to get comfortable. I even tried sleeping on our recliner (not fully reclined, but enough so I could sleep). That made my croupy cough worse… Anyway, I worked out yesterday afternoon (I know, I know, mornings better… but the person who said that wasn’t pregnant). And my cramp, though still existent, was less uncomfortable last night.

I’m going to make a more concerted effort to get back to working out several days a week to keep my lung capacity going. But, now that I think about what I was doing before trying to get pregnant… doing a vigorous workout six days a week, I have to cut back to keep my heart rate in check.

So, if you all think about it, pray for my leg cramp and my croupy cough, and that both would go away sooner rather then later